New Moon

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I guess we can call it Chinese Food…in Montrose, and other locations.

New Moon on Urbanspoon

I have a fondness for the fine folks at UrbanSpoon, whom have pointed me in the direction of more good meals than bad. But every once in a while…

I got the name of I New Moon from them, and because a number of people really, really liked the place, I added it to my Wish List early on during my time with UrbanSpoon, meaning to get to it sooner or later.

I really should have kept waiting.

I have a list of rules for Chinese Food on this Website. Going through the list of six, New Moon managed to violate…everylastone of them.

Every…last…one.

It wasn’t a good sign when I walked in a say nary an Asian face anywhere inside, in front of the counter or behind it.

It wasn’t a good sign when I saw the fork sitting there nestled in my napkin. (I have thing about forks in Chinese restaurants).

Things kinda went downhill from there…

Look, at the end of the day, a restaurant’s quality comes down to what comes out of the kitchen. What I need to see is the Restaurant in question KNOWING in their bones what the food they’re serving is supposed to taste like. You are only going to be well served by going to a place that has that cuisine burned into their DNA.

Yeah, they’re not going to be well served by New Moon. Sorry.

The reasons? Well…scroll on down to the What Should You Get? You’ll see.

In the meantime, let me keep venting.

There is no excuse for flavorless Chinese Food. None. Nada. Never.

There is Good Chinese Food, Acceptable Chinese Food, Bad Chinese Food…and this stuff, which is a sin against God.

One of the things that a lot of Americanized Chinese Places do (and New Moon is definitely one of them) is dumb down their flavors to meet American tastes.

Please dear God, don’t put yourself through this. And New Moon, don’t make the rest of us suffer for the timidness of the typical suburbanite palette. I never expect to be blown away whenever I go into someplace new. Not every Kitchen is capable of hitting a home run with that first meal. That’s actually cool. I don’t think it’s fair that every meal be a revelation. A little competence, a little care goes a long way.

I don’t sense that coming out of New Moon. They put on a good show (Service was friendly and prompty. The Restaurant itself is nice looking and clean), but the show they put on? Hardly a hit.

 

WHAT SHOULD I GET?: I ordered the BBQ Pork Noodle Soup, which is close to something I just had a Liang’s Kitchen not more than a week ago. So I know what this stuff is supposed to taste like, at least I know what a home run is supposed to taste like. I know to my bones what kind of a punch it’s supposed to hit me with. The stuff at New Moon? Geez, the flavor packets in the 99 cent Ramen you buy at the Drug Store has more flavor than that.

I followed that up with an order of Beef with Asparagus, which was also the most flavorless thing I’ve ever tasted (well, second most flavorless thing I’ve ever tasted). I mean, c’mon guys. The meat was cooked perfectly. I mean, melt in your mouth good. The Asparagus was also prepared perfectly.

So what happened?

The sauce. There was simply zero taste to it. None. Nada. Zilcho. It was dumbed down as to not offend American tastes. It goes back to what I said. If you are cooking not to offend, why the hell are you cooking at all??

 

IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP, PEOPLE: If what I have written so far does not count as a safety tip for you, then…I can’t help you.

 

PARKING: Pretty good. The Montrose location of New Moon has it’s own lot, and it’s free. It shares a building with a Curves, so there are three lots within the complex. One for New Moon. One for Curves, and one that…I don’t know. Just mind the signs. Past that, Street Parking’s your best bet.

 

MAP DIRECTIONS:
New Moon

Montrose:
2138 Verdugo Blvd
Montrose, CA 91020
Phone: (818) 249-4393

 

Valencia:
28281 Newhall Ranch Rd
Valencia, CA 91355
Phone: (661) 257-4321

 

Downtown:
102 W 9th St
Los Angeles, CA 90015
Phone: (213) 624-0186

 

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