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Breaking Down Southern California into the categories that matter.

Cheesecake Factory, The (Americana Center)

Cheesecake Factory, The (Americana Center)
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General purpose “meh” that you can settle for in Glendale.

The Cheesecake Factory on Urbanspoon

The Cheesecake Factory on Foodio54

Let us all admit the plain truth about The Cheesecake Factory…this Cheesecake Factory, or any Cheesecake Factory for that matter.

One does not go to the Cheesecake Factory, one winds up at the Cheesecake Factory.

One does not go to the Cheesecake Factory with the intention of dining at the Cheesecake Factory unless you are a teenager, and somehow come under the impression that this is fine dining.

Now, the Cheesecake Factory will serve you a meal. The Staff is attentive and will treat you very nicely and professionally. The food will taste reasonably adequate, though it will come in large plates the size of your average Satellite dish. And of course, afterward, for dessert, there will be…gasp and shock…Cheesecakes available for your dining enjoyment.

But for pity’s sake…you can do so much better. No matter where you are, no matter what location you choose, you can do so much better.

The Cheesecake Factory is a National Chain. The cooking done there is done by professionals to a national legal standard, rather than one of taste and craft. In other words, the Corporate Lawyers working for the Cheesecake Factory are going to insure that whatever you order, your meal will not offend, will not come close to being undercooked, will not come close to doing anything that offends you in such a way that you sue the Company behind the Cheesecake Factory.

That my friends is not a good way to spend an evening.

 

WHAT SHOULD I GET?: Oh for Pity’s sake…

You look at the menu, and it’s clear Cheesecake Factory can’t decide if it wants to be a Steak and Chops place, a Burger sports bar or a pizza joint, so it does all three at once.

If you have to get something, I’d recommend the White Chicken Chili, but I literally remember nothing about this meal. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

The Cheesecakes on the other hand, them I remember. I remember the Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake, I remember the Tiramisu Cheesecake. You literally cannot go wrong with anything named Cheesecake on their menu. But come here for coffee and dessert afterwards. Find a better meal, and a better menu elsewhere.

 

IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP, PEOPLE: Just remember the size of the damn plates, and how much food will come on them. They believe in large portion sizes = you enjoying your meal.

It’s not true, but…they believe it.

 

PARKING: At the Glendale location, supposedly easy as…well…pie.

Okay, Cheesecake.

The Americana at Brand has a massive Parking Structure that you should be able to park in, if they haven’t been screwing around like they have in the past. As an alternative, you can park in the Glendale Galleria across the street for free. Just use the entrance across from J.C. Penney’s and Kimmy Tang’s 9021Pho, cross the street and you’re there.

 

MAP DIRECTIONS:
The Cheesecake Factory (Americana Center)
511 Americana Way
Glendale, CA 91210
818-550-7505

Mon – Thu: 11:00AM – 11:00PM
Fri – Sat: 11:00AM – 12:30AM
Sun: 10:00AM – 11:00PM

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